NYSSA & AKASHA GAME

[kitsunebi]

Day 86, Noon

Comments

[ofobedience]

It does seem to be the way of things.

[shakes his head]

I could do it to myself.

[purposefully avoiding the word 'kill']

[kitsunebi]

You're not dying!

[ofobedience]

[the vehemence of her words, they surprise him]

I don't want you to die, either.

[kitsunebi]

... so... we'll just have to try our best not to.

If it comes down to it, I'll die. I've done it before, so it's fine.

[ofobedience]

[he shakes his head sharply]

No. I don't want that. It's not fine.

[kitsunebi]

I'm not letting you be hurt. I'll come back anyway-- so maybe it's not fine, but it's better than anything else.

[ofobedience]

But why should you have to be hurt, and not me? It...seems more like it should be me.

[kitsunebi]

Because I don't want you to be hurt. There's no reason anyone should hurt you.

[ofobedience]

There is.

[kitsunebi]

There isn't. The Echoes don't deserve that satisfaction, and you've never done anything to warrant me hurting you. And I'm not going to let you hurt yourself.

[ofobedience]

But you said you were an artist.

[kitsunebi]

[ ...? ]

So?

[ofobedience]

I'm...

[it feels strange to say it, but the memory had been clear]

Supposed to be a weapon. So wouldn't it make more sense for me to take it?

[kitsunebi]

...

You're not a weapon. You're Barghest, and you're mine. You're Cepheus.

[ofobedience]

[well, that's...there's something in that, something he likes. he wants to be barghest, to be hers, to be cepheus and not whatever else he'd been before he got here. he's sure of that.

but this situation, it's difficult. there's a tension in him that's almost palpable]

I don't want you to die. I don't want it to be my fault.

[kitsunebi]

[ ... reaching for his hand, gently. ]

So it won't be your fault. I'll do it myself, okay?

[ofobedience]

[curls his fingers around hers, his grip a little firmer]

But it would. I would have allowed it to happen. I should...be able to protect you, too.

[kitsunebi]

... so... we don't have to let it happen. We can sacrifice something, right? To stay alive.

But if it comes down to it, I want to be the one who gets hurt.

[ofobedience]

[the tension in him, it's growing]

But I shouldn't need to be protected! I don't want to be so useless!

[oh hey this might be the first time he's actually raised his voice]

[kitsunebi]

[ she goes quiet for a long moment, but just tangles her fingers with his and squeezes. ]

... everyone needs to be protected sometimes. It doesn't make you useless.

[ofobedience]

[he'll squeeze back, just a little too tight, but not for long. his breathing is shallow and rapid]

I feel useless.

[if she dies, he'll hold himself accountable]

[kitsunebi]

[ she uses her grip on his hand to pull him in, hugging him tightly, her face buried in his hair. ]

... hey. Listen. This sort of thing happens a lot, right...? So... this time, let me protect you. And next time, you can protect me.

We'll save each other. Okay?

[ofobedience]

[and he'll hug back, glad for the opportunity to conceal his face]

I don't want that.

[but it's possible he sounds less vehement than before]

[kitsunebi]

[ petting his hair... ]

... if we don't choose, we're both gonna die.

But if we can give up something important... we can both live.

[ofobedience]

[...yes, well...]

I'm not sure I have anything worth giving up.